Tuesday, February 9, 2010

My Mumsy.

When Ms. Cynthia Subijano handed me a copy of the latest issue of MEGA, I was close to tears when I saw mom's photo. It was taken only a year and a half ago if I am not mistaken. She was so full of life and smiled so brightly.

As I type this, tears are already ruining my freshly applied make up but I don't care. People say it is not healthy to keep it in. I miss her so much. My dad seems fine but I can feel his loneliness which he tries to hide by landscaping, doing the market/grocery and watching violent television shows which my mom never allowed in the house.

It's still so ouchy in the heart. With a single thought of her, a shot of pain goes through my vein on my right hand all the way to my heart. I don't know why but that's how it physically feels. Sometimes I think I am having a seizure but after a minute or two, I realize that it is only the pain in my heart of losing mom that's causing me distress.

I find myself always saying, "HAAAYYY NAKKKKOOOO MOM....Why did you leave us so early?"

Thank you MEGA, Ms Cynthia and Cai Subijano for this tribute.


Joy Page Manuel said...

Cands, though I can't pretend and say I feel exactly your pain from losing your Mom, I can say that I've felt that kind of pain that travels through your hand, arms and straight to your chest/heart. So I guess, I can say, I feel your pain. Keep writing. It helps.

candifier said...

Thanks Joy. I dreamt about her again last night. I was crying so hard in my sleep that I could hardly breath.

Cai Subijano said...

Hi Candy!

This is Cai Subijano. I just came across your blog now. Thank you so much for letting us to pay tribute to your mother in our magazine. She was such an amazing women and a true inspiration to us all.

We are sincerely touched by the emotional reaction you experienced upon seeing our tribute to your mother and I hope you will allow us to share it with our readers in our Letters to the Editor page. If you like, we can edit it if you feel that your entry here is too personal. Please let me know what you think.

Again, thank you so much and my deepest condolences for your loss.

Warmest regards,

Cai Subijano