Wednesday, December 16, 2009


I usually have the weirdest dreams. I often tell my sisters about it when I wake up because I am the kind that remembers every single detail of what they are.

A lot of times, my dreams are within a dream inside a dream. It takes a lot of effort for me to get back into the real world and honestly, sometimes it scares me. I see it as a small box, inside a medium box inside a large box. It's weird, complicated but that is what usually my dreams are like.

With my mom passing, I am praying that this is just one of those dreams. A very big box that I can't seem to get out of. It is just so unreal to me that mommy, at 66 should be gone. Too young. Too soon. Too painful.

Words of her friends that are pouring in thru email are very heartwarming though. It makes me realize that even for the short life that she lived, she was able to touch so many people's lives and got them to love her, probably because she loved them all to begin with.

This email came from Mr. Christian Espiritu.

I never had the chance to know you well. Albeit I am sure you are one of Jul's daughters I met when I did a feature on her for Business World's Lifestyle section. Thus sometine in 93 or 94.

My friendship with your Mom started in 61 when she executed my wife's engagement ring when we were engaged. I met Jul because of your uncle Teddy.
When my youngest son, Justin got married in '99 here in Ayala Alabang your Mom was one of the principal sponsors and as wedding gift she offered to do their wedding rings.

Even if we did not move in the same social orbit since I and my family got stashed away here in the village our friendship remained close enough for my family to mourn her demise.

I felt so helpless not knowing where her wake was to take place. And by the time I found the time I knew that I was so late.
I may not have gone to her wake but I prayed fervently for the repose of her soul.

Please convey my symphaty and thoughts about Jul to her Cenen. And I would look forward to getting together with you guys maybe in disimilar occasion in the near future.


Gilbert said...

Ms. Candifier...
A box is believed to be a feminine symbol that represents the mysterious, the unconscious, and the maternal. The box is symbolic of mystery, secrecy, and of something precious. The famous Pandora's box held all the forces of good and evil. When she opened it, all the wrath was unleashed and all hell broke loose. With great timing, she closed it and in it is "Hope". Thus it is said that hope remains. It might suggests that a potential is hidden in that box. Siguro, medyo baguhin ang approach, a slight risk taking is necessary to discover power and wealth that currently waiting in the unconscious. As the saying goes: when there is hope... there is a new beginning. Que vaya Dios contigo.


was browsing your blog and just like you i also remember every detail of my dreams even when i was a kid i can remember it vividly and also it scares me sometimes..and i only have my mom who listens to me when i narrate those things.. mothers are really God's gift to us.. Il pray for your Mom